MarkDworkin.com

Archive for the ‘Depression and Sadness’ Category

I’m very concerned that there have been robberies and violence at pharmacies lately.

Addiction and violence is a lethal combination.

What do you all think about this escalating problem?

“This the season to be jolly…”  Ho F—-ing Ho!

College Students come home for a number of weeks, and most families get together for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s. While for many it’s a time to rejoice, see loved ones etc., it’s also a time of great challenge for those of you who cut , burn, or engage in any form of self harm.

Seeing Uncle Binky who “binked you” when you were small; or seeing a fellow High School Student who bullied you can cause you to intensify your urges to harm yourself. I was also moved by “scarstomatchtheinside,” when she wrote “Words Hurt.” They sure do!

So please be careful; if going home, family gatherings, or seeing old tormentors is inevitable try to limit the time you have with these people. Words do hurt, but remember that there are steps you can take to limit your involvement.

1 – You just developed migraines while at school and you feel one coming on now.

2 – Isn’t that a sniffle I just heard? Are you sick?

3 – “I just remembered I got an incomplete in a course and I have to have it done by January 2^nd.

4 – Count the days until you can get back to school.

5 – “Don’t you remember, I volunteered for the local soup kitchen for New Year’s.

and my favorite:

“Listen you bastard, I refuse to let you, or your words or former predatory deeds (sexual abuse) stop me from having a good life. I don’t believe in harming others, verbally or physically, but if I have a picture of the offending person, I’d burn it in my backyard.

I have a question that I hope some of you can help me with. I’ve read some research that says that people who cut often times have either an eating disorder or OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Anyone who is willing to share on this thread please do. If you want to reach me privately, you can email me at mdworkin@optonline.net.

I hope these few ideas can help any of you, even if it’s just one person survive this trying period. I know it’s after Christmas, but you see, “I had this giant migraine that came on and incapacitated me.”  Believe me? Who cares? Just please keep yourselves safe and free from harming yourselves.

Peace,

Mark

I hate bullies. When I was young I was a victim of many of them. They were the “cool kids” and I was short and fat. While I never thought about cutting (we didn’t know about this back in the 60’s. But I do know about hurting so badly that I wanted to end my life. My parents weren’t helpful. They were too busy with their lives. So when I came home crying at 14 (“Be a man and stop crying”), because they gave me the nickname Twaddles, it hurt so badly that I felt ashamed to go outside. I never got any help back then (help only started after my heart was broken 5 years later).

I’m 61 and I can tell everyone who cuts, or is a victim of bullying, that the boys who mocked and humiliated me didn’t do so well in life. A number are dead; some are recovering junkies, and some have menial jobs.

So take heart. You’ll get through this period. Keep remembering that there is a tomorrow when you have grown up, and healed the wounds of your childhood, like I healed mine.

Have a Safe and Happy Holiday everyone.

The Next Long Island EMDR Basic Training

 
Click Here for full Training Brochure

Mark Dworkin LCSW P.C. – Trainer

 

The next Long Island EMDR Basic Training Course in EMDR will be held on:

 

Training Dates:
March 9 – March 11, 2012 Part One

April 27 – April 29, 2012 Part Two

Training Location:

Seafield Center – Amityville
37 John Street
Amityville, NY 11701
Phone (631) 424-2900

This EMDR training is in compliance with all requirements of the EMDR International Association standards. This training has a greater emphasis on:

1 – Applying EMDR and the Therapeutic Relationship through all 8 phases of EMDR Psychotherapy.

2 – Dealing With Transference and Countertransferential Issues within the conceptual model of EMDR.

3 – Evaluating a client’s potential for dissociating.

4 – Identifying and demonstrating the links between trauma and dissociation.

5 – Preparing clients for trauma work.

6 – Making clinical decisions about who needs more preparation time, before beginning formal trauma work.

7 – Working in a more gentle way with people with complex PTSD.

 

Fees before midnight January 31^st 2012 ^— $1350.

Fees beginning February 1st
2012 ^– $1500.

 

Refund Policy: Prior to 4 weeks before start of class – Full refund

Prior to 2 weeks before training – $25 administrative fee applied

Prior to 1 week before training – All tuition will be applied to the

next training, minus $50 administrative fee

Once training commences there will no refunds.

Fees include all workshop materials for Parts One and Two; a continental breakfast, and an afternoon snack. Please go to my training website, emdr-web.org, for further details or call (516) 731-7611.

A friend of mine just got off the phone with me and told me to go to this You Tube Video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

 

The title is “What’s Going On,” and it is heartbreaking. It worth the 4 minutes of your time. If you are a parent like me, you’ll never want to see your child in the pain that this boy is in.

Not everyone is a “Barbie or Ken” doll (am I dating myself? Ask your parents if you don’t get the reference. This video has been seen by over 7,000,000 people.

The boy does not speak. He holds up index cards, and points to places he has cut. He’s also crying.

If you know any children who may be suffering like this boy, talk to their parents (if you are not the one yourself), and get help for your troubled child or teenager.

As a psychotherapist who treats many teenagers who cut, I can tell you that I was surprised how this video got to me. Fortunately my sons are in grad schools, and never had these problems. But too many of our youth are suffering, and either parents ignore or don’t know what to do about it.

Call your local mental health clinic; ask your child’s pediatrician for the names of some excellent child and teenage therapists. But for the love of God please don’t pretend or avoid.

The consequences could be deadly.

Watch the video and write what you think about it.

I just finished a session with a 17 year old teenager. She has been cutting for two years. No one ever found out. No one cared. Melinda (not her real name) was raped by her uncle when she was 8 years old. When she went crying to her mother, seeking safety and calming she got slapped in the face. Her mother told her that if she ever told those lies again that she would be driven into the woods at night, in the winter, and left there. Her mother was drunk; her father had divorced her mother, and moved to California (She lived in Queens NY).

Melinda was obviously terrified. She couldn’t sleep, her appetite suffered, and she had many tummy aches. This went on for two weeks until she convinced herself that she must have made the story up. To try to get back “her mother’s love” she confessed to making the story up. Her mother then beat her over her naked bottom with a hairbrush. She told me that her only way out (except for suicide) was to tell herself that she was lying to herself and she should just forget about the incident.

After a number of weeks Melinda started to forget, only the pain and emptiness remained. She had dissociated the memory.

At 15 she was in 10^th grade, and when she went to the bathroom she saw two other girls taking a paper clip and scratching themselves deeply until they bled. She was fascinated by this and timidly approached the other students. They explained that what looked painful, was actually more pleasurable. They didn’t know why or care. They showed Melinda how to cut, and after a short while Melinda started feeling better than she did for a long time.

This is how she started to self medicate. I say self medicate because cutting releases endorphins (“feel good” inner chemicals). None of the three girls realized the dangerous turn their lives were about to take. One of her friends got sent to boarding school; the other got thrown out of her house. Melinda didn’t get caught until two years later when someone noticed the cuts on her upper arm.

She ended up in my office because her aunt (whom she was staying with is a social worker). When she confronted Melinda, she admitted to cutting, but could not remember why she had started. It was a few weeks later when after being with a group of friends, a boy she liked tried to kiss her. She freaked out and ran away.

This incident triggered many painful memories of being raped (more than once) and having been beaten. Because her aunt was a colleague of mine, and knew I worked with traumatized people, and cutters as well, she called me and I started seeing Melinda.

Stories like Melinda’s are all too common in my practice, and the practices of my colleagues.

Self harm can be caused by many reasons, but most self harmers share a common problem, they have an inability to verbalize their emotions.  Unless you are the abusing parent I strongly suggest that you immediately sit down with your child and start a conversation. “How did you get that cut?” You can expect every excuse known to human kind. Please do not criticize your child (or friend). They are doing the best they can. Cutting is usually not a means of trying to suicide. That doesn’t mean that you should wait one minute.

Why Teens Cut Themselves

It’s usually hard for parents to understand why their teen would cut himself or herself on purpose. There are many reasons teens cut themselves.

 Among them:

·      It helps them release of pent up emotional stress.

·      Through cutting they express anger or other negative emotions.

·      It is a way to exert an element of control when their lives seem out of control.

·      Teens who cut have trouble feeling something other than emptiness,

·      Cutting is a way of punishing themselves because they feel inadequate or worthless.

Those who cut don’t intend to injure themselves seriously or permanently. Rather, those who cut are feeling emotional pain and resort to physical self-injury in an attempt to feel better. Cutting releases endorphins, the brain’s feel-good chemical, providing a respite from the pain or helping the teen “feel more alive.”

Here are some possible solutions that you and your child may try, but sadly cutters usually will need professional help as soon as possible. If you aren’t ready to take your child to a psychotherapist who is an expert in self harm, I written out a few suggestions that you can try with your teen. BUT PLEASE! If you do not see a marked improvement in a very short period of time, please go the professional route. Here are some suggestions to try.

·      Teens who cut themselves need to learn coping skills, including asserting themselves appropriately.

·      They need to learn emotional regulation and distress management skills in order to deal with strong emotions.

·      There are many self-calming skills that can quell the urge to cut so that they can deal with intense stress.

·      Relationships are sometimes difficult; teens need to be able to practice using their words rather other means of expression.

There are teens who have other relationship problems. They may feel clumsy in their attempts to fit in with a group; or ask a girl out; these teens may need social skills training.

There are a multitude of stress management techniques that they can easily learn, such as Progressive Muscle Relaxation.

They usually can’t stop immediately after being found out. They need your support, if you are their family or their friends. Support doesn’t mean liking it, approving of it, or any other nonsense like that.

Support means that you as family or friend sit and have conversations with the teen who is cutting. Try to get them to genuinely tell you what hurts.

Let your child (friend) know that they can call you any time that the urge to cut becomes unbearable.

Teach them that rubbing ice on their wrists may help calm the urge to cut.

Sometimes snapping a rubber band onto your wrist may help to take the urge away.

Many teens use a journal to write down their thoughts, or write a letter to the person(s) who harmed them and tell them the effects of their harm (this is especially useful when cutting is a way to block out the pain of being sexually, physically, or emotionally abused.

Other teens may use other mediums to express themselves. These may include:

Painting

Drawing

Finally, love your teen. He or she is hurting and need help. If you would like further information please go to my website @ www.markdworkin.com

Peace

A patient I successfully treated for many phobias gave me permission to write about his fears. Maybe some of you can relate to him.

I suffer from claustrophobia, acrophobia, and agoraphobia. So many fears, which should I choose? And why am I struggling with so many of these fears.

I was never closed in (claustrophobia), never afraid of high places (acrophobia), I’ve never been afraid of needles, so why am I becoming so fearful that I don’t want to go out? (agoraphobia).

What I find is that phobias are usually the result of some traumatic event(s). They may be directly connected to a specific trauma (a near fatal car accident, followed by an avoidant pattern of driving) or an event may represent a feared situation, such as fear of flying when there has not been any obvious trauma, but the person has negative thoughts and intense fear anytime that they are not in control. In this case the fear of losing control may have started much earlier, let’s say as a child, you couldn’t control your parents from getting divorced, and maybe the last time you saw your daddy was when you went to see him off at the airport.

Whatever the case, the most important thing to realize is that:

1 – face the fear of the fear first

2 – develop coping strategies to start to imagine confronting the feared situation or object.

3 – think of all the resources and self calming statements you can make to calm yourself down.

4 – face your fears, first in your imagination with your resources and calming statements.

5 – Then, when possible, start to slowly and bit by bit, start facing your fears with all your strategies.

These ideas may work for some, and not for others. In either event I wish you peace of mind during this holiday season.

Please also check out the articles on my website www.markdworkin.com

Thursday is Thanksgiving. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? For me, I get to watch football and eat pumpkin pie with friends and relatives. But what about the people who do not want to see family, but feel that they have to? How would you like to be greeted by someone who abused you emotionally, physically, or sexually? Do you embrace them, or give them a swift kick where it hurts (I’m not advocating this, I am just wondering?

What about families where you have to sit around the dining room table, not being able to say much because others won’t shut up. What if they go on about their children while you sit quietly with yours? I had that problem for many years until I finally got the courage to say, “No More.” And I haven’t seen parts of either my family or my wife’s in years.

What if your tormentor starts to needle you, calling you fat? Let’s say that you are bulimic? Do you excuse yourself and go to the bathroom? You get the picture of what can be both ways. Some people wil get sleepy from the tryptophan in the turkey, while others will feel like they are living in hell for the time that they are there and long after.

The question I always ask myself in these situations is, “Is it worth it to expose myself to people who may emotionally hurt me?” I can’t tell you what to do. I only know that I go through a reflective process.

I hope that only a handful of you who read this blog have to think about the negative side about spending time with people you can’t stand. As I said, I know how it feels, and I don’t subject myself to anyone I do not like. Period!

To everyone else who reads this blog I wish you a healthy and happy holiday.

Yes, you read it from a senior mental health clinician. I can’t let myself get rid of anything I hold dear. My mother’s lamps; pictures from my 20’s; my personal journals and stories that I wrote in college. Now these seem to have lots of sentimental value. OK, then what about the conference brochure to the NYS Society for Clinical Social Work Conference from 10 years ago? Outdated advertisements for things that even if I needed them, I could buy them for the sale price because the sale is over!

So what gives? No, I don’t hoard food; I know it’s the number one thing to hoard, but I’m also a compulsive overeater so food doesn’t stick around.

According to the North Shore/LIJ Hospital Center Blog, “It is often a symptom of other disorders, such as impulse control disorder or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder.”

So here’s the thing. I don’t have OCD and I don’t have an impulse disorder except for food. I do though have ADD, without hyperactivity. Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in March 2007, analyzed samples from 999 OCD patients in 219 families. Families with two or more hoarding relatives showed a unique pattern on chromosome 14, but this seems far from definitive neurobiologically.

They say it runs in families. I remember that my father had every check he ever wrote in his life this is during the days that banks sent your cancelled checks back). Was he hoarding? I can’t remember he or my mother hoarding anything else.

Then there is the age old question of what is the difference between hoarding and collecting.

When my parents moved to Florida in 1973 I was a collector of baseball cards from the 1950’s, and old comic books as well. My parents, not recognizing the value of what they were getting rid of (of course they didn’t tell me, and I did’t offer any suggestions), threw out thousands of dollars worth of orginal comic books, and even a pristine 1952 Mickey Mantle Rookie of the Year Card (it was worth over $5000 in 1990, who knows what it would be worth today.)

If you are too young to know who Mickey Mantle was, just ask your father or mother.

Then tell them that my parents accidently threw it out. The pained look on their faces should tell you everything you need to know.

I have a history of being a battered spouse and girlfriend. Eventually, I began to work at a shelter for victims of domestic violence. During my employment there were violent deaths of several residents or former residents. Additionally, there was a near death (medical) incident during my shift. I was working alone. There was very little emotional support at that job but I utilized EAP as needed. Yesterday I witnessed a body being removed from my apt. complex by SWAT. I cannot get over these images…

Dear Anonymous:

I am deeply sorry for your troubles. You have been traumatized multiple times. I would find a licensed mental health clinician who is well trained in a trauma therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR. Make sure that they graduated from an approved EMDR International Association training, and that they have gone on for advanced training to be a “Therapist Certified in EMDR.”

Basic Training gives the recipient a Certificate of Completion. This is not Certification. For that the clinician must have more course work and at least 20 hours of consultation on their practice from someone like me (I train clinicians in EMDR) or an “Approved Consultant.”

Let me know what area of the country you live in; whether you can afford treatment with or without insurance (please let me know what insurance you have) and I’ll try to find you someone competent.

When I was a young man I fell in love with a fellow student at Lehman College. She had a boy friend whom she was breaking up with. I was young and naive. She went back to him and broke my heart. I suffered from an intense depression from the ages of 19 – 24. I was suicidal; I couldn’t get out of bed; school work, are you kidding me? I would have failed out of school that year except for the Kent State Shooting. School was suspended and everyone got as P = pass for their courses. I transfered schools; lived in San Francisco, but as Jon Cabot Zinn said, “Where ever you, there you are.”I was stuck with me wherever I went. Finally I sought and got good psychotherapy (it was the early 70’s and the anti depressants were very new). Slowly I recovered. The silver lining was that I got a very good idea about what depression feels like, and as a result, I changed my major from history to psychology. Then a number of years later I atended Columbia School of Social Work. I’ve been a successful social work psychotherapist evr since (and I never looked back to see what ever happened to the girl who broke my heart. I’ve been married now; we have two sons who are working in their grduate studies of law and philosophy, and I’m 60, happy, and all the wiser for this episode.There is a secret strength that comes from overcoming depression. I hope that this blog gives hope to people suffering everywhere.

-Mark Dworkin LCSW-

As someone who has devoted most of his adult professional life to assisting survivors (especially young men) I am particularly gaulled by the callous way the administration at Penn State swept their dirty laundry under the carpet for so many years. Shame on them. Their football program may bring in $70 million a year, but that number pales by comparison to the pain and suffering that Mr. Sandusky’s “alleged” abuse has caused. “You don’t say no th Jerry,” was the phrase that emerged this week.

If he is found guilty by a court of law, Mr. Sandusky should receive the maximum allowable punishment, which (as I believe for all pedophiles) should include a lifetime of service towards children of neglect or abuse (but without contact with these children). The salary for this service should be $1 per day.

However, as a parent of a recent alumnus or Penn State, my heart goes out to Mr. Joe Paterno. This is another layer of tragedy. This man has given over 60 years of service to Penn State; donated millions of dollars, and served as a role model for all students both on the main campus and satillite campuses as well.

Should he have been fired? My emotional brain says no. Let him retire with dignity. Afterall the Grand Jury has not returned an indictment towards Mr. Paterno. Yet, he knew Mr. Sandusky for 32 years; there was a time when Mr. Sandusky was in line to succeed JoePa as the next head coach. So it is with a heavy heart that my thinking brain, plus 30 + years as a trauma therapist, tells me that there must be more to the story. How could there be multiple rapes, yet only one reported to Joe? And even if there was one, Joe should have followed up.

It’s a tragedy all around, but in the final analysis I can’t let you off the hook Joe, even though my heart breaks for you.

It breaks much more for the victims.

Mark Dworkin LCSW, P.C.

The Stress of Job Hunting

 

 

Everybody loves stress. We thrive on it. It brings out the best in us. But stress is the doorkeeper of the flight-or-flight mechanism, and when it gets the better of us, our dash for safety can be a dash straight out the door of our own lives. It can be. It doesn’t have to be.

 

One of the places where stress can build to the danger level fast is when we’re looking for a job. Think if what is at stake! Think of what a job means! Our job not only keeps the roof over our head, it enables us to care for and educate our children, it often is the determiner of whom our friends will be, and it largely defines our social class. Looking for a job puts us right in the place where much of our stress originates. You can about quadruple the stress when you are out of work while job hunting. Not being sure of where one’s next meal is coming from tends to put people on edge, make them do unwise things they would never do in less treacherous circumstances.

 

One thing you can do to defuse the stress of job hunting is to work very hard at your job search. Learn your best strengths and where they can be used, even if it could mean changing your expectations of what job you think you want. And, of course, do the kind of homework all the best advisors recommend: learn who needs what you have to offer and set about making yourself irresistible to them. There are dozens of books and lots of good advice, much of it free. Use it. But that sort of a thing is just work. Even more important is your attitude. What can you do about that?

 

You can take a look at yourself and do two things: see yourself as you will be seen by a prospective employer and be prepared to shoe him that you can meet his needs: stress comes form fearing that one’s needs will not be met, and prospective employers are full of stress, just as you are. Before you set out, prepare yourself. See yourself as having the ability to do well. Know yourself. Know what you want. Know what you want from a job. Get ready to hear what your interviewer is saying: “Our former floor supervisor had a great personality for management but absolutely no sense of detail….” That means there was trouble meeting deadlines, there was difficulty with the small things that keep things running smoothly. Learn to listen. You’ll never stop reaping the benefits of your own good listening.

 

Have you noticed in the literature about job hunting, how the writers always assume that anyone looking for a job, even if he’s been miserably fired from the last one, is utterly competent, a fire-eater, and a winner? What about the job hunter that really messed up his last job and knows it? Now that’s stress! That person is not only dealing with the predictable stresses of joblessness, but also has the added dread that the same thing will happen again; that he really is hopelessly incompetent. He deserves never to work again, but if he does get hired, he’s pretty sure he’s likely to do the same thing again.

 

And there is always the person who has more trouble than most seeing himself as others do. I know one fellow who complained that his strict observance of his religion kept him from getting a job. But this poor fellow didn’t take a bath from one year to the next and never had his clothes cleaned. You could smell him at forty paces. But for some reason he needed to believe his lie about the religious issue. He obviously needed more serious help than most of us. But don’t forget the point of that story. Whenever you hear yourself saying things like “Nobody wants to hire a         “, two red flags should automatically drop. One is to ask yourself if there isn’t someone who would just love to hire a “     “, and the other is to ask yourself whether it’s really your being a whatever-it –is that is the problem. By the way, eventually that religious fellow got some good counseling, and a little help from some people who knew what a good job he can do. He’s working now. And his clothes are clean.

 

It is important to be relaxed when you’re job hunting. No, I’m not kidding. One good way to so that, as I said above, is to know what you are after. Know who you are. Your attention will be focused on realities, and not on being nervous.

 

Still the best of us can use help in establishing constructive attitudes and patterns of action when we are looking for a new job or facing a career change. Good counseling aimed at helping you deal with the basic issues of personality can often help get things on the right track and save a lot of wheel spinning.

 

 

 

 

alliwantissomeanswers:

It was my third or fourth session today and I feel like I’m getting nowhere.  Halfway through, I got all tired and fuzzy.  I felt like I was on drugs or something.  And she kept asking me “So, how do you relate to your memory now?” And I could barely stay awake long enough to reply “I don’t know.”

Dear All I Want Is Some Answers:

You have not failed at EMDR. In fact, I think that your EMDR therapist may have missed what sounds like a “dissociative” response. This doesn’t mean that you are mentally ill, or a “multiple personality disorder.”

It means (if I read you correctly, that you had 3 or 4 sessions where your therapist was working on a traumatic (read that as painful)  memory with you.

Did your therapist get trained by the EMDR Institute, or by a commercial trainer, approved by the EMDR International Association (like me).

Even so, did your therapist take the time to get a detailed history (as well as test you for a dissociative disorder?) This is Phase 1; did they prepare you for the “reprocessing phases of EMDR? (Phase 2 is the Preparation phase; phases 3-6 are the reprocessing phases I mentioned in the beginning of this post.)

Ask your therapist these questions. Feel free to use my name.
If they went through all the phases the way they are supposed to, what you experience still could happen, but it would be les likely.

It happens occassionally when I am working with someone during the reprocessing phases, but when it happens I don’t ask “What does have to do with your memory now?”

When I see someone starting to dissociate, I stop bilateral stimulation (eye movements, alternating tones, or buzzers (taps) and reground the person. Then we talk.

When I have a good idea of what is happening I will make the interventions that are necessary (sorry that I don’t have time to go into all of the possibilities, but there are many ways of working with someone who may dissociate).

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! Your reactions (getting sleepy) usually indicate that whatever you have been working on has become too painful, and that’s why you dissociate (again, we don’t know each other, nor do I know, or care to know who your EMDR therapist is.)

Just know after reading this that there are many people who claim to be competent EMDR clinicians and have not been trained by an EMDR International Association trainer, or if they have, it sounds like they could use a refresher course, or some consultation by a senior EMDR Approved Consultant, or Trainer.

I hope this helps lift some of the burden off of you. I become concerned when I hear these stories because we try to train clinicians as well as we can, and then encourage them to continue for advanced training and advanced consultation.

My Best Wishes,

Mark

I’ve noticed a bunch of people brave enough to share their pain, and a few silly people who chastise them for doing so. While I certainly do not support ANY self harm gestures, and treat patients every day who present with this problem, I am sympathetic to the pain any one who cuts is in.
 
Let’s begin with what it is and why young people do it.

According to the website www.teenhelp.com,  “Cutting is the practice of teens who purposely injure themselves by using a sharp object to scratch or cut their skin deep enough to draw blood. It’s a type of self-injury behavior typically seen more often among younger teen girls, although older teens and boys can also engage in cutting.”

Most people know that cutting releases a “feel good” biochemical in the endorphin family. That doesn’t mean that teens, or older people do it for pleasure. Just the opposite is true; people cut to try to  try to avoid emotional pain. This pain is due to traumatic memories (many who have cut, have been survivors of sexual abuse), and they seek physical relief from these painful memories.)

I understand that there are teens who cut together, cut in groups, have on line chats with other cutters etc., etc., etc.

I become very concerned when some teenage boy writes a note, “flaming” cutters.

They do not get it. So guys, think about what I’m saying. People who commit acts of self harm are in enormous pain and should evoke our compassion, not our contempt.

Self Harmers – Please get the help from a licensed mental health professional. You can heal from your traumas/problems. Think about it like this (BUT DO NOT ACT ON IT!!!) If you weren’t harming yourself, then who would you want to give pain to? As I said, DON’T DO IT, but answer the question.

Then answer this next question. What has that person, or persons done to you, in order to cause you so much pain? These questions are aimed at having you think productively, so that you can find the assistance you need. No matter what was done to you, you can heal. Please don’t give up!

Mark