Parents’ age and children grow. Each group requires attention and assistance. Neither may be receptive. This poses a unique challenge to the Boomers. In this section of my website, I outline some of the difficulties faced with their aging parents and offer possible solutions to the dilemmas Boomers are confronted with.

Have you ever tried to tell your mother or father that you were concerned about their well-being, only to be told to mind your own business, while watching helplessly while they declined? Have you experienced?

1 – Fear that your parents may not listen or be capable of responding to life’s challenges? Everyone has a story of a relative driving well past the time it is safe to drive. Everyone knows the frustration of telling a parent that they need a hearing aid. Safety issues abound. One of my clients told me a story of how their father could no longer hear properly and continued to drive unsafely.

2 – Guilt that you were in a terrible position of knowing that your parent(s) was/were unable to continue living independently and you were unable to bring yourselves to talk to your elderly loved one about home health care or assisted living arrangements?

3 – Sorrow and grief at losing a loved one. Many times “Boomers” are in a position where you need to release their grief, yet they could not find the right help to do so or you believed that they had no time to express their feelings.

4 – Confusion at not knowing how to negotiate systems of care, dealing with organizations, and finding the right caregivers for their aged loved ones.

I have studied this problem for many years and have dealt with the illness and death of my mother and father.

During those times I used the skills I obtained at Columbia University School of Social Work where I received my Master’s degree in Social work.

I have used my experiences of working in hospitals for over 13 years in understanding the complexities of health care; of making comprehensive evaluations of an aged patient’s mental status ability; their degree of cooperation vs. resistance to doing what needs to be done, and their children’s myriad of difficulties in dealing with their parents; and their own painful conflicts needing to take over, and yet feeling guilty about doing so, and of delivering services for the aged.

I have used my knowledge of systems in being a trained social worker to assist many of my clients negotiate with impersonal systems, while at the same time using my clinical skills to assist my clients with a whole bevy of emotional difficulties in their attempt to find peace of mind.

As the Director of Mental Heath Consultation Services at the Bronx VA Medical Center, I was called upon repeatedly to assess aged parents mental health problems and substance abuse problems. I have used my skills over and over to make mental status exams to determine the degree of dementia in an parent and have worked with doctors, and family systems, organizations and institutions ( for example assisted living facilities and nursing homes) in provided a structured plan of action to find the right degree of services for this population with minimal intrusion on a parent’s capacity to still make informed judgments.

I taught these skills to medical student, interns and psychiatry residents going through training at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine. I did this from 1983-90.

Since 1986, I when I went into full time private practice I have been helping families cope with these devastating circumstances while helping all members communicate effectively and find problem solving strategies to help make this transition bearable.

In the early 90′s after completing my studies in psychoanalysis, gestalt therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, I began to study the most effective therapy modality I have ever trained in. This modality is an evidence based treatment approach called “EMDR” or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. (See other portions of my website for a thorough description of this approach).

For the last 16 years, I became first a student of this approach, a master clinician, supervisor and trainer of EMDR. I am published in the professional literature and have authored a book on the subject. I specialize in teaching the about the importance of the relationship in EMDR.

My relational understandings are especially important for you; the Boomer; an underserved population. I am able to engage you and your parents first in solving the problems aging brings, and then assisting all of you to release toxic trapped emotions helps to make this transition bearable.

Contact me at 731-7611 or email me mdworkin@optonline.net and let us start the process of bring clarity to confusion and peace to troubled families during this difficult time.

I wish you all peace through your troubles. I have been there personally. There is an old story of a man trapped in a giant hole. He cried out to a passer by “Help me I’m stuck”. The passer by was a doctor who threw the man a prescription. The man became more desperate. H cried out once again, only to have a teacher through down a lesson plan. Finally he was about to give up when a friend passed by and jumped into the hole with him. Incredulous, he screamed at the friend, why did you jump into the hole. Now we are both trapped. However, the friend replied, “I’ve been down here before and I know the way out!”

Professional services delivered with a personal touch.

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516-731-7611

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