Parenting a Picky Eater

• Is your child reluctant to try new foods?
• Does your child get into “food ruts,” during which he’ll eat the same food over and over?
• Does your child get upset when his foods combine or touch on his plate?

If you’ve answered “yes” to the above questions, it’s possible that you’ve got a picky eater on your hands.

Picky eating is fairly common in childhood, and most children outgrow this behavior.   If your child is a picky eater, you might be worried that he/she isn’t getting the nutrition he/she needs.  I will make suggestions down below for how to make sure your child is on a healthy track.

A more extreme form of picky eating is seen in Selective Eating Disorder (SED).   SED manifests in a strong aversion to many food groups based on color, texture, aroma, etc.   In the future I will write an article about SED; the advice in this article is mainly intended for parents of picky eaters.

How Can I Tell If It’s Just Picky Eating (as opposed to SED)?

Children with SED will scream, cry, and/or throw a tantrum when given new foods.  They will refuse to eat any food that falls under certain categories (such as specific colors or textures); this usually leads them to eat a severely restricted number of foods (10 or less).

Picky eaters will usually tolerate having a new food on their plate, and don’t typically refuse ALL foods from a specific category.

Self-Help Suggestions

While different children may have different needs, here are some suggestions that you may find useful in dealing with your child’s picky eating:

• Respect your child’s appetite.  Don’t force your child to eat when he isn’t hungry, and don’t require him to finish every last bite on his plate.  Doing so may lead to a power struggle between you over food, which will only make it more difficult.  Also, keep in mind that most children only eat when they’re hungry, and they’re usually good at knowing when their body needs fuel. 
• Ask your child to help you at the grocery store.  Let him pick out fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods to try.  Avoid aisles containing foods you don’t want to buy, to avoid tempting your child.
• Encourage your child to help you prepare meals.  He can help you wash produce, set the table, etc.
• Stick with a consistent meal/snack schedule.   And avoid serving snacks and/or milk within an hour of mealtime.  If your child is hungry at mealtime, he’s more likely to eat and try new foods.
• Don’t make a separate meal if your child refuses to eat the one you’ve already made.  It’s better to be firm, and tell your child that if he’s hungry you’ve already got a delicious meal prepared for him.  Keep providing these nutritious meals and eventually he’ll likely come to prefer them.
• Make healthy foods fun.  For example: serve veggies with your child’s favorite dip; make a smiley face on his plate using different foods; serve breakfast food for dinner.
• Sneak some nutrition into more “kid-friendly” foods.  For example: mix corn and peas into mac & cheese; add berries to bowls of cereal; stir chopped veggies into spaghetti sauce.
• Don’t use dessert as a reward, or your child will learn that sweets are the best and that dinner is only eaten to get to the “good stuff.”  Instead, designate certain nights as dessert nights (such as Monday and Friday), and don’t serve sweets the other nights.

Seeking Professional Treatment

If the above suggestions are not sufficient in helping you to work with your child’s picky eating habits, you may wish to consult a mental health professional.  A qualified therapist can help you learn ways to cope with your child’s pickiness, as well as develop potential methods to improve your child’s eating.  Your child may also benefit from psychotherapy, depending on his/her needs.

While picky eating is normal in childhood, parents often feel like they’re alone in their frustration.   But you aren’t alone, and there are professionals who can help you get through this.

For more information please contact Mark Dworkin LCSW at (516) 731-7611 or mark@markdworkin.com Mark is available for speaking engagements for the general public and professional communities, radio and tv appearances, seminars, webinars, enhancing professional development, workshops and trainings.

Sources

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/childrens-health/HQ01107

http://www.parentingbookmark.com/pages/AN01.htm

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